Saturday, February 10, 2007

My that's a big glass of wine you've got there

clos du bois cab-sauv, powerpt, texts, 92.5fm the river

For some silly reason, I've avoided difficult topics on the blog lately. I don't know why. Perhaps I'm playing the ole 'if I ignore it, it doesn't bother me' game? Strange, 'cuz that's not my typical M.O. That said, as of this moment, I'm cuttin' it out. Feel free to click away now.

#1: One of my dearest dearest dearest people is in the hospital. I'm devestated. Could I have done something to prevent it? Did I do enough? Is it partly my fault? Is she OK? Will she be OK when she comes home? What can I do?

#2: I'm losing a dear friend, and I feel like I have very little control over it. I'm mad. She's mad. But that's easy enough to manage. The problem is our wives -- they're being effing ridiculous.

#3: I start teaching again very soon, in addition to my regular full-time gig. I'm teaching two classes this semester: one in the classroom, one online. Same class, very different venues. The problem is -- last year, when I was asked to teach this class (my first ever) exactly one week before the semester started, I threw everything together, showed up, did my best, and considered that an accomplishment. Surprisingly, I loved teaching, and according to the evaluations, my students loved me. Who knew? But this year, I've had plenty of time to prepare and I've done nada. So here I am, ten days before classes start, freaking out in front of PowerPoint, trying to write everything out. Have I ever mentioned that I hate writing? Ok, I hate professional writing. Talking in front of people? I can do that. But writing it all out for the online class? I'm terrified. So I've pledged to try "prof-casting" tomorrow to see if that's a reasonable option. Talk it out, and lay the audio over a scant outline in PowerPoint. Scant outline? I should be able to do that. I think. The whole situation has my nerves 100% on edge, and even on the best day, those neural-puppies are extra wired. Panic City 90210.

In the midst of all this, I've started biting my nails again. I hate that. It's an ugly habit. Not to mention, there are several other odd & detrimental coping mechanisms that have cropped up. Argh!

But I'll get through this time, just like all the others. Note to self: this is a cake-walk in comparison to times past. As MafiaMom and MafiaGram would say: this too shall pass. In the meantime, I'd better get back to PowerPoint and my big ass glass of wine. Slainte!


maryse said...

oh man, i'm sorry for all of the stress. and your friend that's in the hospital. and the powerpoint. i'm really sorry about the powerpoint.


Thorny said...

Oogh. That's rough when life decides to dogpile you. I hope everything turns out all right, or as all-right as things can, and that soon this will all be something you can look back on and go, "Wow, glad that's over. That sucked." ;)

Much love and hugs and all that junk.

Rhonda the Stitchingnut said...

Sucky time ... Hang in there. All I can do is give you a hug. Well, I'll have a glass of wine with ya too. Sante.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that sucks. I am sorry you are going through all this shit. I hope your friend recovers soon and without permanent consequences. No wonder you can't concentrate on preparing your class with all the stuff that's going on. Things have a way of piling up at the same time, don't they? Hopefully, the situation will clear up soon.
Hugs and good vibes!

Anonymous said...

Man, that all sounds really stressful. If it were me, I'd be passed out with my face in a cheesecake, so I think you're handling it all very well. Hope it all works out/comes together soon and in the meantime, there's always the wine. Am sending good vibes!

Anonymous said...

i'm a college student (the hoosier from a few weeks back, Sam!) and prof-casting is awesome. it also makes me want to get involved- listening to a sweet prof is way better than reading words on the screen. go for it!! it's fun and honestly a lot easier for everyone, i think. good luck!