Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Broken Waters

Thurs. ETA: Still no news.

Wed. ETA: It's unofficial. Something is happening, but we're not sure what's going on. Keep those vibes coming. THANKS!!


It's official -- Wifey is going into labor. Hooray!!

Although I'm still contractually unable to blog about the specifics, I can say that Wifey is a surrogate and that Nina is her doula. So go give Nina some love too, k? She'll be taking care of my girl while I'm taking care of Little Man.

And can I get a big of shout out for the VBAC? Please send all of your strong chica vibes to Wifey's body. Dilate. Dilate. Dilate. Progress. Progress. Progress.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Favorite Things Monday: Simplicity

These pix are housed in a multi-photo frame that ordinarily hangs in a prominent location in our house. I say 'ordinarily' because all of our wall decor has been in boxes since October. This photo set is one that I particularly miss, so it's a relief that I have access to a digital version.

Taken at Carrie & Hag's house a couple years ago during a weekend trip to the Cape, these pictures show Wifey and Little Man in a moment of pure joy. On the floor. Being silly. Playing with dishes, as opposed to conventional toys. Laughing.

It shows Carrie & Hag's manner of living. Rustic. Cluttered. A little bit dirty. Organic. Homemade. Lived in. Loved. Simple.

It shows Wifey's completely natural relationship with her sister Carrie. Whose house can you visit and feel comfortable in randomly pulling dishes from the cabinets to entertain your toddler?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

When your wife is surro-preggie

Wifey: When's the full moon?
Mafia: Um ... let me see [pause for google-ing] ... February 2nd
Wifey: I think that's the day I'm going to give birth.
Mafia: Oh? Cool.
Wifey: Do you have any idea?
Mafia: When you're going to give birth?
Wifey: Yeah.
Mafia: Nah, I can't even remember your due date
Wifey: You can't even remember that I'm pregnant [giggles]
Mafia: Shut up! I'm not doin' any more laundry for your ass!

Sat. 1/27/07 at 8:32pm

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Team MIT - Red Scarf Project

Thanks to the excellent leadership (and postage money and pile of lace cookies) of Katie of The Dilettante Debutante, Team MIT sent off 20 (!) scarves for the Red Scarf Project. 15 of the scarves are pictured here. We also got a fabulous surprise visit from Suzanne, who added that beautiful bias stitch brown/orange/yellow scarf up near the top. Aren't we awesome?

And here's my finished Besotted. After blocking, it had such a nice drape that I decided against fringe. Oh yeah -- and -- I just didn't feel like it.

Thanks to Danielle for modeling. And providing the camera. And for printing out the cute little gift tags and wrappers. And for bringing a bag that was big enough to fit both her scarf and my scarf on our walk across campus. And for carrying said bag. According to Chris, this makes Danielle my "work wife." That's fine with me; let's just hope her husband doesn't mind.

I'm heading off to Northampton tomorrow morning, so be prepared for booty from Valley Fabrics, Webs, and Cate. And since I got a gift certificate from Webs for Christmas, I won't be breaking my Knit From Stash rules. Score!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Random Kindness & Dye

lightweight Socks That Rock in Watermelon Tourmaline

Let's talk about love. The love of one blogger for another blogger. Like ... for instance ... when one blogger enters a contest and doesn't win. And another blogger sends Socks That Rock in the mail, unsolicited, for no apparent reason. Seriously. Love.

With all this love around, I ditched all prior knitting plans and commitments and wound balls and cast on for a new pair of socks for me! I'm so excited, I can barely stand myself. THANKS Frickmeister! You made my day, week, month, year!

don't make fun of my polka dot socks + pin-striped pants.
it was 6am when I got dressed and clearly I wasn't awake yet

Then I came home and bathed the Red Scarf. Wash #1: red water

Wash #2: red water

Wash #3: pink water; will this ever end?

Honestly, I was too bored to actually test the stamina of the dye. But ... as a word of warning: do not wash KnitPicks Swish Superwash in Red Pepper with your silky white 'special set' from VS.
[oh, the glory of a mental image ... ]

Monday, January 22, 2007

Favorite Things Monday - My Hoosier

For a long time, Favorite Things Monday has languished. The original concept was to focus on the positive, but FTM quickly morphed into whatever sparked my interest on that day. Positive? Yes. Focused? Not so much. Then it fell off entirely. But since it was such a favorite in my little reader survey, I'm going to revive it. Here goes:

This is my Hoosier cabinet. I love it. I love it dearly. My Mom found it at a yard sale in about 1990. It was painted red. [Yes, someone painted it. Oy.] In addition to it's overall charm, Mom noticed the original Sellers tag, most of the original hardware, the sugar dispenser, the covered tin bread drawer and several original glass spice jars. Recognizing the value of the piece, MafiaMom found a talented restoration pro, had it stripped and refinished, and had one of the glass doors replaced. While the restoration may have diminished its value in the official antique marketplace, it revived this old lady, and brought an antique gem into our family.

Several years ago, MafiaMom visited my apartment in J.P., saw the perfect spot for the cabinet, and offered to sell it to me. At first, I was conflicted. I didn't love the style. It was heavy and old and expensive and fiddly. But Wifey loved it, so we bought it (and spent the next several years paying Mom in dribs and drabs).

I've had Hoosier Cabinets by Philip Kennedy on my Amazon wish list and someday I'm going to buy it. Among other things, it'll tell me what year my Hoosier was built, which parts are original and give me a roadmap for maintaining my little antique gem. I've started hunting eBay for replacement hardware because the old hardware on Ms. 1890's kitchen cabinets is similar, and when we renovate the kitchen, I'd like to use antique hardware that matches my cabinet. In addition, I'm saving digital copies of vintage ads so I can design my kitchen with the period in mind. Without that classic text about my cabinet, I've been completely ignorant of her history. Even without the book, I've very recently started to find her history here and there.

Hoosiers are generally considered 'depression era' pieces, so I always assumed it was built in the 1930s. But I've recently discovered some Sellers advertisements from the early 1900s, and I'm fairly sure mine was built in 1917. I used to envision the kind of family that could afford such a beautiful cabinet during the depression, and I couldn't relate to their life at all.

But now that my cabinet was born in 1917, I envision a world of possibilities. Was her first owner a wife and mother? A wife and mother and activist? A lady in a boston marriage? Instead of envisioning a woman kneading dough to feed her family, I envision Mrs. Agnes Moray, Miss Janet Fotheringham and Miss Lucy Burns perched on stools over the porcelain counter, writing letters, planning demonstrations, coordinating support for their jailed sisters, succeeding in NY State -- not realizing that they would be jailed together at Occoquan. And then I envision them, three years later, setting glass goblets on the porcelain counter, pouring cordials, and toasting their victory.

Little did these ladies realize that 90 years later the same porcelain counter would hold poster paint belonging to the boy child of lesbian moms, and the glass cabinet would house a porcelain mug inscribed with Votes For Women in honor of Alva Vanderbilt Belmont's sassy hospitality:

Mrs. Alva Vanderbilt Belmont (1853-1933), born in Alabama, grew up as a Southern lady. Upon marrying into the wondrously rich Vanderbilt family, Alva focused her impressive energies on winning over New York Society. Her divorce from William Vanderbilt and ensuing marriage to, even richer, Oliver Belmont caused a sensation. The scandal forced the hitherto sheltered society dame to reconsider women's position.

When the Women's Trade Union League in 1909 supported the garment workers' on strike. Mrs. Belmont personally went on the streets of New York City; into the city's jailed and bailed out the arrested strikers. This strike was her initiation into the woman's suffrage movement. She established her own Political Equality League, paid for the office space for a national NAWSA office in New York City, and underwrote a national press bureau for the association. While her sudden plunge into the movement aroused some skepticism, her commitment proved enduring.

When radical Alice Paul broke off from NAWSA, Mrs. Belmont left the NAWSA to become one of Paul's most significant supporters. It was at her famous home, Marble House, in Newport, Rhode Island that Alice Paul and her cohorts formulated their plan to hold President Wilson and the Democrats responsible for the lack of progress on woman suffrage.

Mrs. Belmont commissioned her own set of "Votes for Women" china for a major Suffrage dinner party at Marble House. When the dinner was over, each guest was given a place setting to take home. "
Since I will not be spending $6500 on 4 pieces of the original china ( ... don't think I didn't consider it ... ), perhaps I should start collecting the reproduction Votes For Women china. Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to honor the history of my Hoosier?

Friday, January 19, 2007

Scaring the Muggles

This one's for Lucia.

That's Danielle and me KIPing over lunch today at The Stata Center, a major thoroughfare at MIT that was brimming with muggles. There were several second glances, a couple raised eyebrows, and a few smiles. Certainly some of these brainiacs will become bankers. May they remember this day.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Red Scarf haul-along

Back in November, Katie suggested that the MIT Stitch & Bitch do a mini-knit-along during IAP (aka January) to create scarves for the Red Scarf Project. Of course, the idea was a big hit, and lead to an official event in the IAP calendar. [clearly we're famous now]

Despite not posting about it, I've spent the last week knitting away at a Besotted Scarf in KnitPicks Swish Superwash in Red Pepper.

As of right now, the scarf is about 32" long. I'm getting 15" out of each ball, and since I only have three balls, this scarf will be 45" with no fringe. I was hoping for a teeny bit of fringe, but it's already fairly short, so I can't spare the extra yarn. Oh well.

While I feel great about participating in this project, I also feel silly about walking around with cold hands because I refuse to 1) buy mittens or 2) stop the scarf and risk not finishing it in time, so I can make mittens for myself. Am I being totally ridiculous? Yeah, I thought so.

But if I slog through to the end of this scarf monogamously (despite the siren call of my Arwen and my cold hands), my reward will be to knit a pair of mittens (or a hat?) out of the most beautiful handspun that I got from the recent MIT SnB holidaze yankee swap (note to self: explain why I'll never participate in another yankee swap). But I've also signed up for the Green Sock Along over at Knotty Bits because I have two skeins of the most incredible green sock yarn from my generous birthday presents and I can't wait to cast on. But what about Wifey's Icarus or Hag's socks or Mom's poncho or my Eris or Little Man's cornflower sweater, you ask? Yeah ... I should get back to those, huh?

Clearly monogamy is difficult for me. And clearly, I'll have no problem knitting from stash until the end of September.

- Bruise update: it was measured, and it's larger, and more colorful (eeewwww!). there's a new photo, and the old photo has 69 views, which scares me a little.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


Bruise = very deep purple, arnica slathered (thanks Kat). With all those comments, I Felt The Love.
Sinuses & Lungs = congested, infected, loud, raspy, medicated.

On the Needles
Red Scarf Project = not secret, but not yet blogged. Yet 2/3 finished.
in the Besotted pattern = much love and adoration.
in KnitPicks Swish Superwash = nice, but a bit splitty, especially when frogged.

A Knitter's Mad Libs
It was a sassy day. I decided to stay in doors and work on my A Cardigan For Arwen. Oh Shit! This pattern is green! I have been hardly knitting this 4 days now. It's going carefully. What a wagon! I decided to move on and work on my bra. That is a much tighter knit. Only when I was knitting, I made a hose. Now it looks like a drug instead of a bra. I'm so loud. I guess I'll have to frog and skip it again. Those are the perils of running.
*source: Knotty Bits


This photo was taken a couple weeks ago after our first real snow. Little Man is such a good helper, and this is our basic weekend M.O.: I pick a household project and Little Man helps me. At some point he'll realize this is a racket. But for now, I get some companionship and a little assistance.

However ... hold your breath ... this is the last time my Celtic Cable Cap was seen in the wild. I know. I know. It's hard to fathom. It's a travesty of knitterly justice. Perhaps I lost it. Or perhaps the felting monster made a wee mistake, was too terrified to fess up and shoved the offending piece deep in the trash underneath some old oatmeal. Or perhaps I lost it. I probably lost it. [frown]

The Lesser Knits
With my hat missing and temperatures dipping into the single digits on my ass-crack-of-dawn walk to the train, I broke down and wore in public the formerly beautiful hat that my deceased MIL made for me (now irrevocably stretched out) and the first pair of mittens I ever made. Oh the shame.

To see if I'm really ungrateful, shallow and silly, here's a poll:

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Icy hell

Have you heard about the ice storms that slammed the northeast this weekend? Wanna see something really really gross? Go see my brand-new 10" x 6" bruise. Note: not for the faint of heart.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Guest Loo & How to Electrocute Yourself 101

Guest Loo

How much does my Mom love me? Or how crazy is my Mom? You decide. During her Christmas visit, she could barely sit still because she was jonesin' to rip something apart in my house. One evening, I came downstairs after putting Little Man to bed and found her in my downstairs bathroom, doing this:

Only the world's best Mom would strip wallpaper when you weren't paying attention. That's love. After the wallpaper came down, we discovered a corner where some old floor-to-ceiling beadboard was covered with plaster. [who would do that?] So I joined MafiaMom, and reclaimed the beadboard.

This involved running the sharp tip of my multi-purpose putty knife down the ditches between the boards. But in doing so, I created a lot of texture where the old layers of paint were uncovered. I can't just sand it, because it's no doubt lead paint. I don't want to putty over it again, because I will have wasted 2 hours of hardcore scraping. So I'm ignoring it until I decide what to do.

In the meantime, Wifey and I skim-coated and sanded the walls, harkening back to these days. Then Little Man and I primed the rest of the room. He was delighted to be a part of this activity. He learned to put only a small amount of paint on the brush, to tap it gently on the tray, and to paint up and down. [wax on, wax off]

Then Wifey I finished the job with a nice coat of American Tradition in "Spring Spirits" green.

How to Electrocute Yourself 101

Step 1: Decide to replace a light fixture when noone else is home.

Step 2: Disconnect fixture from the ceiling, discover wires covered in black linen, and still continue with your project.

Step 3: Find a cast iron mounting brace, make a mental note that you've never even seen one of those, and continue with your project.

Step 4: Disconnect all wires, notice that they're not copper, consult your giant manual, read the warnings, and continue with your project.

Step 5: Go to the basement, turn the electricity back on, and decide to test for "juice." Touch the black end of your electricity tester to the metal tube surrounding your wires, the red end to a bare wire, and act surprised when it jolts, sparks and melts the metals tips of your tester.

Step 6: Rejoice when you finally call the electrician because you can clearly state which of the wires is "hot."

Friday, January 12, 2007

Drag Queen In Training

Since just before Halloween, Little Man has been obsessed with dressing up. It all started at day care, where he mobilized the boys to dress in high femme princess attire. Wifey would arrive to pick him up and find all the boys wearing high heels, and the teachers claiming that Little Man was the ring-leader. Then Halloween hit, with the Mafia made matching Peter Pan and Tinkerbell costumes for Little Man and his neighbor/girl friend Lila. Then Lila caught the dress-up bug, collected an entire (vintage!) suitcase of princess bits, and has played with few other toys since then. At our house, we've been hoarding dress up clothes for over two years, patiently waiting for this period of Little Man's development. The time has officially arrived.

The first favorite outfit: pirate hat, and a purple glittery cape (made with scrap fabric by Auntie Carrie). Accessories vary.

Phase two: Large straw hat, purple glittery cape, and small silky black purse.

On Monday, Little Man had a croupy cough, so we stayed home together. Of course, this meant a trip to Nina's house, and Target: two of our favorite places. To my delight, the Target $1 Spot was packed with dress up clothes, so we grabbed an entire princess ensemble. For the record, when given the choice between pink and purple, Little Man chose purple. For the gender-concerned among you, I tried talking him into the pirate and safari outfits; he was. not. interested.

While chatting on the phone with MafiaMom the other day, Little Man was playing dress-up. After hearing his explanation of why he absolutely can not wear his red shirt, only his white shirt with the purple cape, Ms. conservative MafiaMom offered the following insight:

"Perhaps he'll be a ballet dancer when he grows up.

Or ... maybe a fashion designer.

No, no ...

[giggle giggle giggle]

He's gonna be a drag queen!

[giggle giggle giggle]"

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Little Man's Winter Accessories

Last year I knit a hat for Little Man, but it was too big. I shoved it into the bottom of a basket and promptly forgot about it. But when the winter winds started to blow, I decided to re-use this very cool yarn combo: Cascade 220 in navy, stranded with Crystal Palace Kid Merino in Indigo #4675 (scroll down). With an ever-growing head, I decided to make the hat too big again, but with expandable all-over ribbing and a big wide cuff, so he could wear it for more than one season.

Apparently Little Man has a different vision. He won't allow us the roll up the cuff, so he wears it like this.

I have to admit, it's kinda cute. The ribbing curves nicely around his melon, making a delightfully round shape from every angle.

At the top, I decreased at the same place every time, so the top third of the hat spirals around a bit. Instead of a pom-pom, I opted for a 'floof'. Yes, that's a technical term for a loose pom-pom that looks like Wyclef's hair when he wears it up. See?

Copyright: 2003 Wyclef.com

In all honesty, I tried to find a screen shot of Wyclef from his Sesame Street appearance when he sings "Healthy Food" with Cookie Monster, which is the true inspiration for the 'floof', but I can't find it. I'm not entirely unhappy with this photo, because even us lesbians have to admit that he's one beautiful man. And while scooting around the web, I found one of my favorite Sesame Street skits on YouTube. Anyone else remember Let's Sing a Song About J?

Anyway ... I also made a pair of mittens for Little Man, so he has a matching set. He loves them, although he's convinced that "mittens" are actually called "sleeves."

Now if only I could focus on knitting some mittens for myself. Walking to the train this morning in 20 degree weather was a bit shocking on my bare skin.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

NinaBeana & Freezer Paper

My dear sweet NinaBeana, my local SAHM with whom I would spend every afternoon if I didn't have to work. Every time I leave her house I whine, "can I quit my job please?" She's so generous of spirit (and food) that her house has become a revolving door of friends and family, and somehow she remains sane.

Our friendship began three years ago at our local library, where our kids, at the ripe old age of 9 months, brought us together. As the story goes, she spotted my tattoo and was too scared to say hello, and after seeing her funky little outfits and her bumper stickers, I was too scared to say hello. Thank god for our babies. Actually ... thank god for her baby Grace, who crawled right over and tried to steal Little Man's binky. They still steal things from one another (we will never discuss the firefighter hat drama of 1/8/07), but they also hug and kiss and talk and share and pretend and snuggle and giggle and craft and make their moms very very happy.

Speaking of happy, this photo makes me happy. Back in December, Nina and I went to the Bazaar Bizarre together, made covert "I could make that..." lists, ogled the beautiful goods made by bloggers that we've been reading, strolled through the South End, tried organic smoked salmon at a beautiful little deli, shared a ham, cheddar and fig sandwich, and grabbed tea and scones for the ride home. While waiting for the train, I snapped this photo. I love it because it's just so Nina.

In the last three years, we're shared many things, including an ever-growing list of "Crafts To Try." And ever since Angry Chicken posted her adorable freezer paper stencils, we've been trying to plan a weekend crafts-only date. With the lure of Tord Boontje designs in my house, we finally had a crafty date last weekend. And it was wicked fun.

Little Man and I ran off to the "art store" as he calls it, where he selected the t-shirts and paint colors. Nina and I laid the Tord panels on the floor and let the kids pick their favorite animal images. Then we traced the animals onto the freezer paper, carefully cut the stencils, ironed the paper to the outside of the shirt, with another layer of freezer paper fused to the inside (very important) and handed out paint brushes.

I consider the experience a success because Little Man wore the red rabbit to school yesterday and accosted everyone with "I paint this shirt with Mommy!"

By the way, see that silly face he's making. Yeah ... that's what happens when you tell a kid to "smile." Apparently Alison's boys got the same memo.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

History of a House

As I begin the labor-intensive phase of renovating Ms. 1890, I'm consistently surprised at how these seemingly simple actions, requiring little more than brute strength, actually engage all of my senses. 116 years of history surfaces in the layers of color, the smell of water damage, the texture of worn wood, the taste of lead paint, the rhythmic sound of metal scraping off time.

What was the rest of the house like when the the downstairs bathroom was dark chocolate, shiny teal, sand, or tutu pink?

Friday, January 05, 2007

Tord Boontje score

Back in October, someone blogged about the Holiday 2006 partnership between Target and Tord Boontje, a name I'd never heard before. But I was intrigued by the images that were posted: intricate paper cuts of deer, rabbits, snowflakes, stars, and stark winter branches. My little pagan heart warmed.

Then I read accounts of folks dashing to Target stores across the U.S. to snatch the best pieces as soon as they hit the shelves, other bloggers mourning missed opportunities, and blogger gifts of Tord collection bits. I longed for that garland. Small. Simple. White garland. But that was one of the first products to disappear.

Then I bought a house. And I ripped up floors. And fixed ceilings. And my Tord fetish slipped into the back of my mind.

Until my Mom came to visit. My Mom - the woman who brings out my inner consumer - requested a trip to Target. While there, we dug into the deep recesses of the holiday sale shelves, and found the window clings for 50% off (score!). Ms. 1890 reallys like them, but my camera - not so much. Have you ever tried taking a decent photo of a window cling? See ... even the brilliant photographer SouleMama struggled with it.

Anyway ... after strolling around the store and digging through the bins, I started to look upward, at the beautiful designs hanging from the ceiling. Then I strolled up to the Customer Service desk and asked:

"What happens to those beautiful holiday decorations after Christmas?"
"We throw them in the trash."
"Can I have them?"
"Ummmm ... sure, I guess. Well ... let me make sure. I have to call our sign person. Can you wait here?"

I waited.

And after some logistical negotiation, it was decided that if I called every day to remind Melissa (my uber customer service chick), and arrived very early in the morning on the Thursday after Christmas, I could have whatever I wanted. I requested two strings of stars/snowflakes and two of the large panels.

Cat for scale

Dansko for scale

I'm not sure what to do with the big panels -- probably cut them up(?). Adornments for wrapping paper? Mobiles? Tracing them to make stencils? Freezer paper t-shirts [nina]?

After all that excitement and inpsiration, I came home and made stockings for my Mom and MafiaBro so they had some visual love when they awoke in my house on Christmas morning.

Now Mom and MafiaBro will have stockings whenever they come for a Christmas visit, and I have yards of Tord paper cuts to play with. Peace and Joy.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Arwen mods

While playing with the wee one and beating on Ms. 1890, I managed to knit a stitch or two on the Arwen cardigan. The back is entirely finished, and represents an alarming amount of fabric. [am I really that big back there?]

Then I started the left front, knit about 6 rows beyond the hem line and decided I didn't like it. See how the bottom edge of the cable panel is all wavy, perhaps even scallopy?

Me no likey.

So I ripped back to the purl hem turning line, and tried something else. If anyone is interested, here's what I did:

On the RS, knit to the end of the row, and without turning, use a purling-on cast on. It's very similar to knitting-on, only you purl the stitches instead of knitting them. Apparently I unvented a Lily Chin trick, which was broadcast on an episode of Knitty Gritty that I just discovered via the magic of Google. Who knew?

Anyway ... you purl-on the 26 sts that create the cable panel, then do two rows of seed stitch before doing the cable set-up row. See?


But, I'm still not 100% thrilled with the one row difference between the hem line and the beginning of the cable panel, but I'll probably just ignore that. If I felt like starting over again, I might cast on at the end of the hem turning row and see if it lines up perfectly. Hmmmm...

* special thanks to hand model and camera 'ho Danielle

* x-posted at Arwen KAL blog.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

New Year's Resolutions

Generally, I'm not a resolutions person because neglect leads to guilt. Why would I set myself up for such dismay? Nonetheless, on January 1st, I dug through posts from last January, looking for anything resembling resolutions. Nada. Well, hell's bells -- now I have nothing to congratulate myself for. Alas, this is my dilemma. If I don't make resolutions, I have no standards by which to judge myself. If I make resolutions, I feel terrible about abandoning them. This year, I'm throwing emotional caution to the wind, and posting my resolutions for the entire world to see.

... Decrease my consumption of sugar and refined flour products, which could decrease my waistline [this is absolutely not a d!@t]
... Transfer a sliver of my doting energy from Little Man to Wifey

... Find a job that's significantly more challenging and therefore, more rewarding

... Finish the walls and woodwork on Ms. 1890's entire 1st floor
... Rent the machine and blow cellulose insulation into my attic
... create a budget and most importantly, use it

... Knit From My Stash until September 30th (see my newly tightened rules)
... Stop agreeing to craft gifts, unless the idea is mine
... Finish overdue gifts for my Mom
... Sew a new quilt for Little Man
... Learn to use my drop spindle

That's realistic, right?